


A Million Reasons Why (None That Satisfies)

by CahLac



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, Post 2X06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:26:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8569549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CahLac/pseuds/CahLac
Summary: Maggie gives Alex time to process the rejection, while trying to convince herself she did the right thing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever and english isn't my first language. But I'm reather proud of this. Hope you enjoy it as well.

At first she thought Alex just needed some time.

Which was understandable. The woman had been through so much in such a short period, she sure needed a break to process everything. Plus, rejection was always hard, even if Maggie firmly believed that she had done the right thing.

So she stepped back, and waited.

 

_ One, two, three days _

But as each day passed without a sign of the agent, the more guilty Maggie felt. The hurt in Alex’s eyes haunted her nights, and in order to get some sleep, she had to keep reminding herself of the reasons why she had turned Danvers down even though she was obviously into her.

 

\---

_ Four days _

And her reason was that Alex was fresh off the closet and she deserved to have fun and experiment on her own, no strings attached.

(Not because Maggie had been many people’s first only to be left for someone better. Not because she was scared to death to be that to Alex)

 

\---

_ Five days _

And her reason was that  she knew how long Alex spent living for her job and her sister. Never putting herself first. She had finally come to terms with this whole new part of her identity and Maggie saw that as an opportunity for Danvers to be more… Alex. To discover herself before she was with someone else.

(Not because Maggie was just out of a relationship and needed some time on her own as well. Not because she had been accused of being selfish by her ex, and she knew Alex deserved someone who always put her first)

 

\---

_ Six days _

And her reason was that she wasn't blind and she could see that Danvers and Supergirl had something going on and she wasn’t gonna be that person between the couple who’s obviously meant to be.

(Not because she didn't think she was good enough for Alex Danvers. Not because she thought the girl deserved better. So much better)

 

\---

_ A week _

And she started to think maybe time itself wouldn’t solve this one. Maybe she’d never have Alex the way she wanted, and Maggie was okay with that. But in the short period she had known Danvers she had come to respect and like her in a way she rarely did with anyone else, and the thought that she’d lose Alex as her friend as well was what truly frightened her.

So she started to look for her. And that’s when she noticed that Alex was avoiding her. 

The DEO was sending different agents to their shared crime scenes. Alex was never drinking at the bar anymore. Or playing pool. She wouldn't go to the coffee shop at her usual times, and every single one of Maggie’s calls would go to voicemail.

She was getting desperate. Maybe she shouldn't have given Danvers time. What if she thought Maggie didn't care? Oh god. She cared. So. So. Much. Above anything else she wanted to know how the other girl was doing. If Maggie had misread her so badly about giving her space, what if she was wrong about other things?

 

\---

_ Two weeks _

And Maggie couldn't take it anymore. She was restless and worried and, to be honest, kind of lonely. Apart from her dog, Jamie, there wasn't’ really anyone in the city Detective Sawyer considered a friend.

  
She missed Alex.


	2. Chapter 2

Let there be said she normally wouldn't do this. She respected people’s privacy, especially in a workplace like hers. And she was a good, rule-follower cop. But she was running out of options, so she may or may not have peeked into Alex’s file at NCPD to find out where she lived.

It took another week of calls and going to the agent’s usual hangout spots with no success for Maggie to actually use her newfound knowledge.

She went as far as stand in front of the apartment door. And while she gathered courage and tried to figure out what she was gonna say, she heard voices.

Alex’s, of course. But also… someone else’s. A woman, she realised. Her heart skipped a beat. And when the people inside giggled she almost turned back.

But Maggie was the one who rejected Alex. Plus, she was here to gain her friendship back. She had no right to be jealous. So she pushed her feelings down, and knocked.

“It must be the Chinese food!” the stranger squealed.

Maggie heard movement coming closer to the door and she readied herself to whatever was about to happen.

But then…

Nothing.

She frowned and knocked again. And then again. The apartment was now silent. Great. She was being REALLY ignored now.

“Come on, Alex. I can hear you in there. Please open the door? I just want to talk” Maggie said, leaning her forehead on the door in defeat.

This time she heard whispers. “Maybe if we wait, she’ll go away”. It was Alex. Maggie’s heart broke at the words but also at how tired the woman’s voice sounded.

Holding back tears and trying to keep her composure, Maggie said before leaving “Fine. Well. I miss you, Danvers. I- I-. Urgh. I won’t say what I need to through this door. If you ever want to hear it or just go back to being friends, you know my number. I’m sorry”.

 

\---

She walked three blocks with tears streaming down her face before a streak of red and blue appeared and dragged her into an alley. Supergirl. Great. Day couldn't get any better. Before she could get a word in, the superhero put on her intimidating posture and began her speech.

“Look, Sawyer. I don’t really have anything against you. But I really care about Alex and you hurt her. A lot. And every time she’s starting to heal you show up again! I don’t know what you want with her this time, but we’d both appreciate if you could back off.”

It wasn't exactly a threat, but if felt an awful lot like one. It wasn't that what threw Maggie off, though. God, being threatened by aliens was her job description. No. What made her do a double take was the knowledge that she had hurt Alex to this extent.

“I- I didn’t mean to. I was just. God. I was giving her freedom! I was doing what was best for her. For us! I don't… I mean… Yes, I knew she’d be hurt but she should be over it by now! I never meant to… Oh, man.” she was rambling. She knew that. She was also pacing. But she couldn’t stop! She needed to make sense of this. She turned to Supergirl to day something, but then something clicked.

Her voice. It was her at Danvers’ place. That confirmed her suspicions. She took a deep breath, trying to make peace with this new information.

“Did she send you?” Supergirl shook her head “Good. Look, she doesn't want to talk to me? Fine. She wants space? Fine. I care about her, so I’ll do whatever she thinks is best. But before that, you seem to be really close to her so…. Just tell me how she’s doing? I mean she’s hurt and angry at me, I know. But she has you, right? So… why?” Maggie pleaded.

Supergirl frowned “Yeah, but it's not the sam- oh. OH. God. You think we’re together? Like… together-together?”

Maggie shrugged. She wasn't stupid. Alex always ran to her rescue and cared too much about her. It was obvious. But then Supergirl laughed and it was Maggie’s turn to frown.

“Oh god, no. No. Ew. Ok. Let’s start this conversation with an important piece of information you’ve been missing.” she extended her hand “Hi, I’m Kara Danvers. Wish we were officially meeting under better circumstances.”

Maggie’s jaw dropped, and before she could recover Sup- no, _Kara,_ was talking again. “Look. She took your rejection pretty bad, okay? Because she likes you a lot, yeah. And I don't even think she’s mad at you, really. If you give her time I’m sure you’ll be friends again. The problem is that… Oh boy. You made her realize this whole part of her she had never noticed. For once in her life she had this… something that was hers. It wasn't about me or aliens or the DEO. Coming to terms with her feelings was so hard for her. Coming out to me was draining. But she did it. And for the first time in a long long time I saw her confident and happy with herself. She was putting herself first, so she went for it. And, I know you have your reasons for turning her down, and I respect that. You don’t owe anyone anything. But that hurt her. Because it was her first try at this new thing and she failed. So she went back into her shell, back to what she knew. She’s been working too much and pretending nothing is wrong, mostly. But I know her”

Maggie’s head was spinning. All her reasons, were tumbling down. She considered that it was Alex’s first try at this, yeah. And that she never put herself first, sure. But she didn't think the consequences deep enough. Didn’t consider she was a perfectionist and that ‘failing’ in her first attempt was gonna crush her. And then, there wasn't even anything happening with Supergirl. They were _sisters_. How could she be so stupid? In the end all of Maggie’s well thought out ‘becauses’ crumbled down to her own fears and insecurities. Even her whole speech of wanting Alex to explore on her own, while full of good intentions, was still bullshit, because in the end that was Alex’s choice. Not hers.

Maggie let her head drop to her hands. “Oh god” she mumbled “I’ve made a mistake! Such a huge mistake, shit”

She turned her head up, suddenly decided, grabbed Kara’s shoulders and looked into her eyes. “I see what you mean, and you made me realize I made and awful mistake. I still stand by some things I said but I should’ve talked this with Alex, not decided on my own!” she shook her head “I should be telling _her_ this. Look, Kara. I know you want me to back away, and I will, I swear I will. Just give me one more chance to talk to her. I just need her to hear me for two minutes. You can even chaperone. Please?”

It was a strange sight. Supergirl, with her brows knitted  and biting her lips, trying to make a decision. It would even be funny in another context. After what seemed like ages for Maggie, Kara sighed.

“I can’t make this decision for her. Go home, Maggie. I believe in you, and I’ll talk to Alex. Give her a couple days to decide. I’ll call you in a week with an answer either way. You seem like a good person, so I think I owe you at least some closure.”

Sawyer nodded once, accepting the terms “Sounds fair. Thank you, Kara. And by the way, whatever happens your secret is safe with me”

“I wouldn't’ have told you if I thought otherwise” she said before taking off into the night, leaving behind an emotionally drained, but hopeful Maggie.


	3. Chapter 3

A week is not a long time, Maggie thought to herself while the walked back home that day.

Little did she know that seven days can be an eternity if you’re waiting for something.

The hours passed slowly, and Maggie tried to fill her days as much as possible with work, tv and, to Jamie’s happiness, lots of running and walks in the park.

Every time her phone dinged, her heart went into overdrive only to be something boring like work or the phone company.

On the morning of the sixth day, Maggie was watching something on Netflix while petting Jamie when someone knocked on her door. She got up, and opened the door to find…. Nothing?

Confused she looked around, and then she heard it again. Not her door. Her window. Supergirl was there, smiling an awkward smile and waving. Maggie rolled her eyes and wondered how in the world had she ever found the girl threatening.

She opened the window and before she could say a word, Kara babbled “Alex gave me five minutes to pick you up and bring you to her. And unless you wanna do this on your pajamas, you should really hurry up”

 _“_ Shit _”_ Maggie exclaimed as the ran inside. Only to do a double take and scream to the blond superhero in her living room _“_ If you tell Alex I wear paw print pajamas pants I’ll find a way to kill you and I’ll do it”

She changed into a way more suitable pair of jeans, a white tank top and leather jacket, and was back in record time to be carried by a super being across town to Danver’s place.

Kara dropped her off on the living room and left, after assuring that if they needed anything she was a call away.

And that’s when things got awkward. As much as Maggie her rehearsed what she was gonna say, being here face to face with Alex made her lose track of every thought that had crossed her mind in the last month and left her gasping for words like the most idiotic fish.

 _“_ Kara said you wanted to talk. So? _”_ Everything about Alex was defensive. Her words, her schooled features, her tense body language with crossed arms and stiff back. Maggie noticed she was mimicking it, and the last thing she wanted was to pass the wrong impression. Again.

So she took a deep breath, relaxed her shoulders and hoped her words would form a coherent line of thought.

“A month ago you kissed me. And you said you’ve been wanting to do that in a long time. _”_ she began

“If you’re here to retell me what happened, I hate to break it to you, but I was there too, you know?” Alex sad through gritted teeth

“My point is that I went all wrong about it. I kissed you back, Alex. And I did it because I like you and I also wanted to that for a long time”

Alex’s surprise slipped through her façade and she opened her mouth to speak, but Maggie didn't let her

“Please let me finish it. I rejected you not because I don’t want you or am not attracted to you. I should’ve made that clear and I’m sorry I didn’t. I stand by some of what I said. I still think we’re at different places, and that maybe you should explore more before we could have something. I don’t want to see you just coming to terms with this whole new part of you and then getting trapped by a relationship. It’s not fair.”

Alex’s face, which was hopeful seconds ago, was starting to close off again. Quickly, Maggie tried to explain herself

“But I realize now that this is not my decision to make. It never was. And while I was trying to respect you, I was also being selfish. What I failed to share was that… You scare me, Agent Danvers.”

“I… scare you?” Alex looked confused, but Maggie could see a hint of a smiling forming.

“Yes! Because I like you. A lot. And I care about you. I’m scared I’m gonna be the girl you experiment with and I’ll get hurt. But worst, I’m scared I’ll steal your you-time. God, that sounded awful.” Maggie chuckled and was surprised to see that Alex had laughed a little too.

“What I meant is that you’ve spent years living for others and you finally have this opportunity to find out who you are outside of that and I think you should enjoy that on your own. And again, your decision to make.” Maggie shrugged “So I propose you a deal, Danvers. If you forgive me, we’re friends for a while. We go out, have fun. Because I’m just out of a relationship myself, and could use some _me-time_ to heal as well. I’ll lose to you at pool and, if you want, I’ll drown my jealousy with booze and be your wingwoman. We keep talking and see where this goes. What do you say?” she finished with a hopeful smile, trying not to show how her heart was beating out of control

“So it’s not a no?” Alex asked. Arms still crossed, eyes narrowed. But her posture was way more relaxed and she was smiling.

“Not a no. A ‘later’. Because I have some shit to work through, and don’t take this the wrong way, so do you.”

Things were silent for some time, while Alex pondered. Until:

“Fine. On one condition, Sawyer” And, oh god, Alex was smirking and Maggie had missed that so much.

“Name your trade, Danvers”

“We seal the deal with a Kiss. A proper one, this time”

Maggie tried to smirk, but honestly she was too happy to contain the smile that took her face “You drive a hard bargain, you know?” then she grabbed the back of Alex’s neck and kissed her.

And if at that moment someone looked at the skies of National City, they’d see a very nosy alien dressed in red and blue doing an embarassing but adorable victory dance.


End file.
